Oh My Days, Olly Sneaky Fucking Sneaker was holdin out on us! Homeboy picks us up from LAX last night and takes us back to his crib.
All of a sudden i start noticin we’re headed up Laurel Canyon and towards the Hills? I’m like “Where the fuck are you takin me stud?” Clayton was in the other car following with Laura (the know it all double major) and i was way to tired for a little alone time with Olly in the fucking Hills.
Olly tells me to Shut up and i’ll see and all of a sudden pulls up at a house. I’m like where we at man? thinkin he’s pickin up narcotics or somethin………….Oh Fuck! this is Olly’s new Crib!
CALLING ALL LADIES – you need to be here it’s the party house of the fucking year! 3 baller ass levels, Pool and the Most exclusive Joco spot for some midnight lovin! Call up Clayton or Olly now and make reservations bitch!
So we leave Tampa, and head out to Oakland (to tha bay to tha bay!) with a connecting flight in Dallas. One small problem being that neither clayton or me took the time to organize a ride to San Fran from the airport or a designated host to put us up for the two nights we were gonna be there. Luckily enough in the hour layover time in Dallas i manage to get ahold of Melissa at SFSU who is as hospitable as George Bush is ignorant. SAFE. So after a night full of half sentances from melissa a fuck load of mosquito bites we head out to the city of Frisco to skate before meeting up with another friend Rachel to show us round later on
San Fran’s the shit! the cops don’t care if you’re rollin round with a legit joint or a 40 in a paper bag!…………this is what i was fucking told shortly before a few Old English 24’s (which i said i would never drink again?) accompanied by a smashing little confrontation with SF’s most “i’m gonna make up for my size by being a complete cunt” of a cop in a bloody Police RV van (maybe they were on tour? eehhh?) apparently he was appalled at my audacity to be drinking on his streets, and persisted to threaten me with a citation and jail time until i convinced him we do things differently in England and he needed to get in his RV and fuck off! So Frisco!
At this point Clayton bounces with one of the other girls we were with, what a great friend! but i guess i can’t blame him, this kid had a little to much party juice it was GAME OVER for him.
We skated the next day and had the pleasure of meeting a new friend Reggie, San Francisco’s most unconventional homeless tour guide who helped me find a hardware store and a jack in the box in exchange for a $3 bottle of White Zinfandel hahaha. this dood is Mentosss! we’ll get an edit up on here asap to showcase his hosting abilities.
With only a few hours left in Frisco before our flight back to LA we cruised down to Embarcadero square and met a hella sick Flatland BMX’er and took a couple of sequences for ZEXSPORTS.COM
So Frisco ended up being just that. hopefully we’ll be back up there soon. All i’m sayin is i can’t wait to get back to Hollywood and have a Huuks sesh! but our crib’s bein fumigated for the next two days. So Olly Sneaks is comin through to pick us up and put us up for a couple days. More sleepin on floors? yes!
i don’t want to drink malt liquor ever again……..ever!
me & Clayton thought it would be a great idea to down an Old English 40 each before we began our quest to dispose of the Coronas……yeah ok clayton won by 5 seconds but who’s counting Evan? the point is i should’ve never agreed to it…………..but the buzz was good?
In other news, Clayton gets drunk and wants to go to the conveniently located strip club right next to the “oh my Days Inn” all that we accomplished was a snyde remark from the girl at the door questioning the fact that we we both born on the same fucking day, an over priced jack & coke, $1’s worth of conversation from a black girl with a scar (who i think is an actual pirate!)
alright, so after an all nighter, watchin movies, and snackin like ethiopians throughout. we packed up our shit in the van and we’re ready to get that show on the road. but not before we hit the trampoline once more to wake our asses up! we got the backflips and bounced out! to be honest i don’t remember much of the drive cos i was hard asleep in the back of the van. i do remember drivin past a porn shop, just of the Interstate 65 in Indiana, that was surrounded by protesters from a church that set up a fucking booth out front of the shop with big ass signs stating they will take pictures of any truckers license plates and email them to their employees if they enter the store! fucking nutters are there 24/7 and have been for the last 2 years! NEXT!
anyway, we drove down through kentucky, over the bridge, and hit up a rest area. just so happens there was a beaut of a rail at this place so i couldn’t help but get a trick on the bitch. then we left and headed down through Nashville, Tennessee, and much to my disappointment didn’t spot Young Buck anywhere! dood’s lyin when he says he on the streets right? we ran straight through thurr and headed for Geooooorgiaaaa. We got to Atlanta and by then it was dark, but we still decided we had to skate a bit while we were there. we skated round downtown and saw some amazing spots accompanied with more rent-a-cops then california has tit jobs! but we finally managed an exclusive session on an amazin mellow rail. Me an Clayton both got a trick and got the fuck outta there unscathed. We left the ATL and unfortunately didn’t see Luda but maybe next time? we headed south more and ended up stayin the night at the Holiday Inn in Perry, Georgia. Right after a breakfast/dinner at the worlds most over hyped joint i ever heard of – Waffle House! fucking bullshit. Clayton managed to go one hick step further and ordered bisquits and gravy for the second time in one day. We checked into our room, and a couple Tila Tequila episodes later here we are. i’m fucking knackered. i’m out to bed
soooo apparently our good friend Espree over at ZEXSPORTS.com feels it is her duty to go out of her way to book two tickets to Indiana so Clayton can go visit his parents for a week on….the day after thanksgiving i guess? Talk about a homie! Espree came through with the tickets just like that, which also involved a layover at any city of our choice for a couple of days on the flight home…. we were considering Chi-town so we could go rock them ShutterShades and maybe bump into Kanye, then we thought ATL? but we decided on the Bay Area! seein as we have some contacts and we know the skatings hot!
i’d talk more about this fucking weird twist in our Thanksgiving, just as i was ready to lay into a couple o’ Guinness, but homie gotta go pack!
